Have you ever asked yourself if you have toxic traits or negative attitudes toward people in any situation? Perhaps, everyone has had such thoughts at least once in their life. Nonetheless, have you known about the signs of a toxic person as well as how to get rid of such bad attitudes from your mind and the way for mind navigation towards positivity? If your answer is “no”, well.. this article is definitely for you!
In case you have an enthusiasm for the Mindfulness topic, here are a few suggestions for you: Get Rid Of The Prejudices From The Internet; Am I Too Sensitive? The Power of Embracing Your Sensitivity and 10 Things To Do When You Feel Down.
Self-detection of toxic traits
Some people think that defining toxic traits is difficult because everyone has a different perspective and way of expressing toxicity. However, no matter how toxic traits change, they always have the same basic characteristics. Personally, I consider them to be the typical characteristics and the beginning of other forms of toxicity. Therefore, I will list the most basic and characteristic signs of toxicity.
Narcissism
In fact, narcissism is considered a psychological illness rather than a sign of a toxic person. However, many people believe that narcissism is a personality type. Therefore, recognizing the signs of narcissism helps us see signs of toxicity in a person.
A narcissist is incredibly arrogant and craves everyone’s attention. Specifically, narcissists always care too much about themselves, always expect to receive admiration and respect from others but lack empathy for others. Narcissists are often described as conceited, always seeing themselves as the “navel of the universe,” selfish, controlling, and self-obsessed.
When reading this, many people will probably mistake “self-love” for “narcissism”. That is a wrong way of thinking! When you love yourself, you will bring positive values to yourself and everyone around you, growing together and respecting each other. On the contrary, narcissists only focus on themselves without caring about the feelings of those around them. Consequently, people who around them feel suffocated, uncomfortable and negative. What’s worse is that narcissists tend to look down on those they consider inferior to them.
From that arrogance, narcissists tend to be controlling and dictatorial. They always try to “dominate” in every situation: control, impose and command. In case they are the ones who are wrong or make mistakes because of their decisions, they will often play the victim and blame others. They are even willing to manipulate psychology to make others believe that they are not the ones who caused the mistake.
When the self-esteem of these people is broken, it is not only their nightmare but also the nightmare of those around them. Narcissists will be willing to do anything to satisfy their rage and pride.
Keywords to know if you are narcissistic: self-centered, seek for attention, arrogant when something does not happen as you wish, manipulative, victim-blaming, selfish.
Uncontrollable emotions
This may come as a surprise to many. It is undeniable that we sometimes cannot control our emotions and thoughts. But what I am referring to here is not “occasionally” but “often”. In other words, the sign of toxicity is that emotions are often out of control.
These toxic people often overthink, leading to mental confusion and emotional outbursts. It can be said that their emotions are often likened to a “roller coaster” – erratic and out of control.
So what is the worst thing about an emotionally uncontrolled person? It is the actions that follow their emotional outbursts. More specifically, when emotions explode, these people will let their emotions control them and act recklessly and without thinking. This is quite similar to how narcissists act when angry, they are willing to do whatever they think in that moment without caring about the consequences later.
Keywords to know if you have uncontrollable emotions: emotional, overthinking, “roller coaster” emotions, reckless.
Pessimistic
This is probably one of the most obvious signs of a toxic person. A pessimist is someone who always sees the worst in everything, thinking that things will always be bad instead of positive. A pessimist may lack hope and confidence and always doubt the future, even when they have no clear reason to do so. When you are always pessimistic and negative, you will also spread that energy to everyone around you. As a result. everyone will be “gradually drained” of energy along with you.
Negative people tend to overthink. This ability makes them always think of the worst situation in any situation. In addition, some people often complain and blame everything instead of their lives being too dark.
Keywords to know if you have a pessimistic mind: lack hope and confidence, doubtful, overthinking, often whining.
Immoral
It is obvious that immorality is definitely a sign of a toxic person. Nonetheless, immorality not only refers to committing a crime but also to a situation in which a person or certain action does not comply with moral values and standards. In other words, the behavior is not considered illegal but is considered inappropriate, irresponsible, disrespectful, or inhumane by society and the community.
Some examples that we often see of a lack of ethics that do not violate the law: are lack of honesty, lack of respect for others, and abuse of trust. Regardless any kind of immorality can reflect the toxicity of that person.
However, it is noticeable that we can tolerate some unethical behaviors such as lying under certain circumstances, especially when it neither causes harm nor happens frequently.
Keywords to know if you are immoral: usually tell lies, abuse of trust, disrespect for others.
Get toxic traits out of your mind
If you find yourself having toxic traits like the aforementioned, don’t worry because we can get rid of them now. Furthermore, this is also an opportunity to help us develop ourselves to become more positive and healthy. So… what should we do now?
Identify and acknowledge your weaknesses
The first and most important thing in the journey of self-improvement is to dare to face the truth. Know how to recognize your own toxic points so that you can make a plan to eliminate them and improve yourself. This is the premise for any personal development. Thus, please scroll up and read the above paragraphs carefully to identify the problems you are encountering. Admitting is not something to be ashamed of, on the contrary, it marks our maturity.
Besides, you can ask yourself some questions such as “When was the last time I had a negative impact on someone else?”, “Did my behaviors harm or hurt someone else?”.
Learn how to control your emotions and reactions
Please note that controlling your emotions does not mean you have to suppress or prohibit yourself from expressing your emotions. Instead, you need to control your emotions in the right place.
One of the useful ways to control emotions is to talk to yourself. In other words, you need to identify your emotions.
There are some questions that you should ask yourself in such cases: “How do I feel in this situation?”, “What made I have these feelings?”, “Does this situation have a reasonable explanation?”, “What should I do in such moods?”, “Is there any better ways that I can handle them?”.
By considering viable alternatives, you can arrange information and thoughts in your head. This way may help you adjust your initial negative reactions. This method requires your effort and patience to practice to form a habit.
Practice patience and tolerance
One of the main reasons that leads to toxicity, especially narcissism is a lack of patience and tolerance. Let’s try to keep calm when things do not happen as you wish, or when people make mistakes. A small tip for practicing tolerance is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes (Empathy). By learning to empathize and understand others’ emotions as well as points of view, you can understand how your actions or words can hurt or cause discomfort.
As for practicing patience, you can try some emotion control skills such as meditation and yoga. In terms of practicing tolerance, you can ask yourself some questions before saying or acting anything: “If I were them in this case, how would I feel?”, “How will they feel if I say these words?”, “Will my actions and words will hurt them?.”
Seeking and listening to feedback
One of the effective ways to help you evaluate yourself is to listen to feedback from relatives and friends about your behavior. This helps you identify areas that need improvement that you may not have noticed. Always keep a mind ready to receive reviews, regardless of whether they are positive or negative. Don’t get defensive, avoid, or get angry when you hear those comments, learn to be patient.
Build the positive environment
“Evil communication corrupts good manners. “ Humans are often easily influenced by our surroundings. Therefore, make sure that you are not surrounded by toxic people. Be proactive and decisive in cutting off toxic relationships and staying away from toxic people to minimize the negative influence on ourselves.
Learn to be grateful for the smallest things
Most of our negative emotions come from a lack of gratitude. Therefore, learn to appreciate the smallest things in life. Because without them, we would not be able to exist and live like today. Furthermore, when you are grateful for what you have, you will feel more satisfied and happier, and less likely to compare and envy others.
It is recommended to practice this behavior by writing a diary, observing things more closely, looking at and evaluating things deeply. In this way, we can see the beauty in the smallest things, leading us to more cherish our lives.
The process of change requires persistence and effort, as personality does not change quickly. With determination and patience, you will gradually eliminate toxic habits and behaviors, becoming a better version of yourself. Keep in mind that only you can decide how you look at and face your life. Choose to live positively, and you will see that life is more beautiful than you think.
“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” – Buddha
